2 Quel 4 Squel

Add This Blog

2009-03-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

www.deejaynova.blogspot.com

Oh Britney..

2009-03-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

As you may know, I saw Britney in Tampa. I didn't get the joy of hearing her say this live because it was too loud in the skybox but I find this so effing hilarious I had to share:

My quote of the day

2009-03-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

To Tyler, regarding his ex

"She probably just takes what she can get.
If that means your weiner, she'll take it.
Literally."

Twitter.

2009-03-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Get it and add me: DJ_Juicy

:)

A SHIT TON OF REALITY

2009-03-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

So, I'm gonna send in a little audition video for America's Got Talent! I need some song suggestions...

I want a really BIG song with a lot of range...something with a little soulfulness...any ideas?

I am also thinking about submitting to America's Next Top Model because this year they are accepting midgets :D Imagine my surprise! If you have any ideas of how to make myself stand out, I'd love to hear 'em. I'll be on the treadmill until I get your replies lol

And finally...The Real World...debating on sending something there for shits and giggles but I'd be pissed as fuck if they sent me to Miami or Orlando or some shithole I've been in or to a million times.

The convo I had in bed with the bf last night...

2009-02-05T13:52:00.000-08:00

Me: *Fart*
Him: Eww.
Me: They call me "Gaseous Clay"
Him: Gross! Like the boxer?
Me: The HOTboxer.
Him: OH GODDDD.

Phil Collins - Easy Lover

2008-11-13T02:13:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Phil. Best. Song. Ever.

Hilarity.

2008-11-04T18:35:00.001-08:00

I love it when people claim that if the Presidential candidate they are rooting for doesn't win, they are moving to Canada.

What in flying fuck are they talking ABOOT???

I wish they would just go. Just move. Make good on your word. Head to that shit-stain above the Americas and make sure to send a postcard telling me about your fucked up French-Canadian life! Don't forget to take a picture with the Mounties. Those bastards are fucking hilarious.

Bye :)

2008-10-30T20:50:00.001-07:00

<3

2008-10-24T01:12:00.001-07:00

This is really old.

Rock hard abs says I love this man, but this says it more...

Heaven Help Us

2008-10-23T23:38:00.001-07:00

The Law of Attraction

2008-10-18T01:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm a certified frootloop. I believe whole-heartedly in this law of attraction they speak of.

Therefore, I've decided that I'm going to win the $24 Million Dollar Florida Lottery tomorrow!!!!
Here is how I'm allocating my funds:

1) Pay off my student loans and credit card debt!
2) Assist my family with their debts
3) Family vacation!!!
4) Investments
5) Buy a home
6) Elope? :) lol

I suppose I'm not completely sure of what I'm going to do with the money, but what I'm certain of is that it's coming. I can't wait until tomorrow night at 11 pm! I am ready to start my life :) Thanks, Rhonda Byrne!!!

AND THANK YOU UNIVERSE <3

Painting

2008-10-17T01:23:00.000-07:00

I started painting.

You can purchase my first painting on Etsy.com

I've named it "Sorrow Lost" after the Flyleaf lyric, and with the obvious reference to the running mascara.

It is an 8x10 original oil painting.

The Tanning Bed Fart

2008-10-17T00:25:00.000-07:00

This is one of the T.M.I. type things that you usually only tell close friends, if anyone--unless you're me.

I felt the need to revisit this subject, as I apparently didn't learn my lesson the first time around.

My first run-in with the tanning bed fart was in a stand up tanning "capsule." I was essentially packaged in a big tube, like a collectible Barbie, except butt naked and entirely less glamorous. I, for one, feel I am getting to my full toasty, "are you Mexican?" potential when I'm burning up in the tanning bed, bulbs a'blazing and fans turned way down. Needless to say, sans fans, it gets pretty hot and sweaty in that small little space.

I, being the flatulantly-active being that I am at times, felt the urge to pollute mother earth with methane (eat your heart out, cows!), and since it's better the bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain, I let loose. And let me emphasize that. I LET LOOSE. It sounded like wet denim ripping. It sounded like a branch on a hundred year old tree being ripped off the trunk by a thousand red-assed apes. And if that wasn't the precursor to the rank-smelling vessel I was to emit at a later time, I don't know what was.

Business as usual, though, right? I mean, everyone with gas (well, with both gas and manners) holds it in until they are in a private place and tries to discreetly let it out with minimum embarrassment involved. NOT RIGHT. There is no ventilation in those damn stand-up tanning beds! I was literally trapped in with the smell of my own brand for about 10 minutes straight. And let me tell you.......farts heated up under UV rays and contained in a small place....they linger. Do you have to--do you have to--do you have to let it linger?? Well it did. And it was not fun. And I wanted to share that story with the world.

The gas chamber.

My final word of advice on the subject, and the reason why I revisited this old experience, is as follows:
Though exponentially worse in a stand-up, enclosed tanning bed, please do not try this is the lay down assortment either. I made the mistake yesterday and the results are a slightly less extreme version of the above.

Note to self: Research the correlation between methane gas and tanning. Is it me or am I extra-crispy?

GROSS! I can't believe you guys fart in tanning beds! Ugh!

Videos: Funny and Offensive

2008-10-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

Alright. I've been debating on what to make my blog about. I've decided that my life can be pretty entertaining, so I'll just run with that.

A friend showed me a video of someone called "Tourettes Guy" last night and I damn near shat myself. It's by watching related videos that I found the second gem. Both hilarious.

Funny:

Funny in a fucked up way:

(Please note the kid sleeping in the beginning who got faded up by a barber in the English hood)

This made my life.

2008-10-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

I just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall and it was a pretty funny movie.

Hell, anything that has full frontal male nudity in the opening scene is fine by me, but this scene is the one that put it over the top of awesomeness for me:

Herow

2008-10-03T21:49:00.001-07:00

This is my first blog!

Hot-diggity-dog!